I saw a dude throw his cup into the storm drain today

I was driving to collect a paycheck from Caterama today, and stopped for a guy to cross the street. He held a styrofoam cup, the contents of which he was finishing as he passed in front of me. He got to the other side and threw his empty cup down the storm drain beside my car. It made me sad. I continued down Byrd, collected the money, deposited two checks in my account & headed to class.

Going to have to dedicate a lot of time to prep for the mid term. I'm doing well with the program, but some of the aspects have some getting used to. Learning the language of the query building, the different types, etc. Essentially getting into the heads of the crazies who made ArcGIS to begin with. Going well, but must be more diligent. Only two weeks til the mid term! Maybe I will put this time w/o work to good use.

Due to the recent theft of our 1 gal. gas can, Alex made some intelligent inquiry as to possible -passive - retaliation. We might take the very small 1/2 gal. gas can, place a large amount of sugar mixed with gasoline into the vessel, and lay it -as the other- at our back door. And wait. See if you mow lawns with a sugar coated engine, asshole.

Got a very confusing, troubling, upsetting, frustrating bill from vcu, giving me the impression that I owed double that which I previously thought I owed. Alex found the patience (it would take me a minute to think of incidents wherein he could not locate any) to sit down with me and attempt to figure our where these numbers came from, and why they were all placed in such a daunting manner. He has made sense of it, but as it still appears to indicate that I owe an extravagant amount of moneys, he has advised me to seek out the office of the error, and make corrections where possible/necessary.

I will probably have to borrow again to pay for this. As I had to borrow(and am still paying back) for so many things. Amazing the ways people have been kept from doing things before "loans", I think of it more as "temporary ownership of one by another for usage of the others capital". I have had to borrow in the past, and still owe on many of those generous assists, and not so generous pilferings. I feel as though I will always owe somebody, that I will never have enough to finally brush away all the paper and stand triumphantly beside a conquered pile, small and insignificant in its defeat. It is truly a deflating feeling, thoughts of negativity and self doubt flooding out the pride and happiness at the possibility of success in so many causes. School, work, self management, etc. Frustrating though it is, I will allow myself only a few drops on the paper, dribbles from the nose. The indefatigable rooster would not approve of further perversion.

I sit in class with knitted brow and speak to few.

I am on a mission, with an incredible debt to acrew.

I will not fail, but will conquer the dread view,

And be happy I've done it when it's all through.

And again, it brings me back to this, which I saw tattooed on a woman once:

...do not lessen my cup of bitterness,
Only give me strength
That I may be able to drink it all.